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Non Us Hotties Presents

The Hotties That Are

but

 

Since the dawn of man, men have alwaysed loved womens who were hot.  This is hispecially true when it came to the olden times before the real millennium that took place on January 1st, 2001.   If you dug up Marilyn Monroe's bones, you'd still worship the ground that she was buried in.  Without further ado, I give to you, the 3 people reading this, the world's (not including the 50 states of our great nation) hottiest hotties from the days of yore and maybe even the days before the Days Inn. 

Joan is so fly that Laurence

Olivier can't even look at her

 

Joan makes men moan

 

Joan loves looking nervous at parties cause all the men want to meet her

 Joan Fontane

in Hitch Clock's Rebecca

 

No body was hottier than Joan HOTane when she starred  in 1940's Best Picture, Rebecca.  She has the kind of name that you have to say the whole thing.  If you saw her in the street you wouldn't scream, "Hey, Joan!" or belch, "Fontane, you rock my world."  You'd have to say something like, "Joan Fontane, you rock my solar system!!"  She'd probably smile and respond, "Hey, what are you doing sifting through my trashcan?"  Oh, that Joan Fontane, she's one heck of a girl.  I'd dial J for Joan Fontane!!

 

    

 Claudette Colbert

in Frank Carpet's

It Happened One Night

 

 

Thanks to Mr. Colbert for moving Claudette and the rest of his family from France to America when she was three.  The US made her a star cause all of our grandparents swooned over her and her crazy hairdo back when candy costed a nickel.  

Claudette dislikes rude

men with odd mustaches

 

She also dislikes rude men with mustaches who ignore her

Worst Gwenie Paltrow movie and

best caption for this picture:

View From The Top

 

If I could only be that bra

Ann-Margret

Ann is SO uber-hot that she needs a hyphen between her names. Sweden's loss is America's gain.  You gave us ABBA, IKEA and Ann-Margret and we gave you Pepsi and Starbucks.  Fair trade, right?  She danced with Elvis in some movies and danced in beans in the Who's  Tommy.